Last week I made this blog as a campaign tool:  www.berkeleybauer.blogspot.com

Within days, I had recieved publicity!
http://clog.dailycal.org/296/jack-bauer-takes-on-campaign-of-terror-in-elections-blog

and

http://beetlebeat.blogspot.com/2007/03/more-excitement-than-ever.html

I am awesome.

Watch the movie I was in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf9r7qm0AoA

I woke up this morning to some terrific news!

"Hezbollah leader Claims 'Strategic, Historic Victory' Against Israel"

If a victory is considered where all your civilians don't die, then yes, I guess there might have been a victory.  However, there was no victory for this side and that they declare it is the problem with the middle east and it's what will drive this conflict further.

Why should I have a problem with what they say?  I know that they didn't achieve victory, so what should it matter if they declare it?  The problem is that they truly believe they have had a victory.

Everytime Israel works up enough strength and courage to finally put an end to the violence in the region (yes, they have to use violence to end violence), the west gets scared and calls them off before they can finish.  If Israel was completely able to destroy Lebanon's infrustructure and government, Hezbollah would in no way be able to claim victory.  But since the west makes Israel end the battle before this can happen, Hezbollah is able to declare victory because Israel has retreated from their land.

What does this show the middle eastern countries?  They can do whatever they want to Israel.  As soon as Israel invades them, the west will stop them before any destruction that cannot be fixed takes place.  By declaring victory, they're basically making sure that this crisis never ends.  

Also, about 10 minutes ago: "Two FOX NEWS journalists kidnapped in Gaza..."  This might change the situation a litte.

AIM somehow deleted all my buddies (I think this is the second time this has happened).

So let's try this again.

Click Here

So today a kid who I assume to be no older than 12 or 13 IM's me.  

Here is the conversation:
Bfd414: Dave answer
tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: who's dave?
Bfd414: David Kirsch

tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: don't know him
Bfd414: Dave stop  being a jerk

tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: where does dave go to school?
Bfd414: Who is this

Bfd414: Hello
tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: this is andy... i don't know anybody named Dave Kirsch, although he sounds like a great guy
Bfd414: Andy what

tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: andy morris... and what's your name?
Bfd414: Benjamin Francis Dworznik
Bfd414: By the way I know your name is David Kirsch b/c you told me it was thesimpsonsfreak
tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: i'm the second baseman for the LA dodgers
Bfd414: It is you because David is obsessed with baseball
tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: no, see... that was a lie.  Your friend david also lied to you about his screen name.  We're all capable of lies
Bfd414: Dave your a freaking liar

tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: how old are you?
Bfd414: I don't know
tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: makes sense
Bfd414: If you want to be a jerk I'll be jerk
tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: k
tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: i'll never actually meet you so i could give a fuck
Bfd414: What does K mean

Bfd414: dude my moms watching me
tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: then maybe you shouldn't IM strangers
tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: also, FUCK
Bfd414: I'm going to report this to the police
tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: you're going to report that I said the word fuck to the police?
tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: first of all, you don't know who i am
tHeSiMpSoNsFrEaK: second, the don't actually care


So, I figured I might as well have a little fun with this.  So I found out the kid's e-mail address and sent him this message:
Dear Benjamin,

We have detected that you have been involved in "prank instant messaging" over the last few days.

This e-mail is inteded to force the immediate termination of these actions.

Within the next 24 hours, you must apologize to those whom you have wronged with your actions. If this is not done, you will face further punishment.

Sincerely,

Daniel Radcliff,
Spam Police 


For some reason, children will believe anything they read.

10 minutes after I sent this I received this IM:
Bfd414: I am so sory I misunderstood my friend lied I'm am sory Mr. Morris. It well never happen again

All is now right in the world.

I am so awesome.

Tonight, I made dinner for my family and me and it actually turned out well.  It was the most amazing thing ever.  I managed to make a Thai Chicken Peanut stir fry and it tasted pretty good. 

In other news, I wasn't elected to ASUC senate... only serious candidates actually won this year (nobody appreciated my I will Be Kicked Out Of Berkeley if You Don't Vote for Me campagn).  Maybe next year I'll run seriously.  I highly doubt it though and I'll probably just stand outside in a miniskirt again yelling "vote for me" without any actualy platform.

Anyway, being back in Agoura kind of makes me want to update this thing (which explains my update) so you might hear from me more.  Probably not though.

And if you haven't seen me yet, leave me a comment or something and I'll try to see you ASAP.